Micro Dating- The New Age Relationship Issue

Micro cheating is one of the most interesting relationship issues that we have read about in the recent times! While there are loads and hoards of relationship issues already, we have the list only growing longer with the latest technology upgradations and umpteen number of communicating devices and options.

Micro cheating is nothing but small little hints given by a someone, electronically or in person, that he or she is ‘available’ outside his or her marriage or relationship. An Australian psychologist named Melanie Schilling recently defined micro cheating as a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally of physically focused on someone outside their relationship. If you analyze the micro cheaters behavior, you will be confused if it is actually flirtatious or can just be given a pass thinking of it as a casual over friendly gesture. Micro cheating is a behavior that induces attraction and close proximity between two people no matter what their relationship status is. It’s a new way of infidelity, and if caught by partner, one could easily call it out to be a casual mistake which should not be blown out of proportion. You are definitely micro cheating if you are lying about your relationship status or hiding a conversation that you have had with a casual friend at work, deleting your messages or call records so that it is not noticed by your partner, getting in touch with your past relationship on social media or casual WhatsApp conversations in total secrecy, sharing about certain things which you would share with your partner ideally and causing a self made distraction or focus change from your current relationship.

In the era of emoticons and apps like Tinder, Facebook and Instagram, it is very easy to micro cheat with a possible flame, an ex, a coworker, a friend whom you had a crush on ages ago or someone you find really interesting online. Micro cheating usually puts you out of focus from the relationship you are into and deports you into another world of possibility and hope and this can happen even if you are in a really happy in your current relationship too.

Now micro cheating is good, bad or ugly is a question that has got various responses from various psychology experts around the globe. Getting attention and an open hand to flirt with someone can give you that quick ego boost , giving a major feel good factor and it’s ok if it is harmless to your partner. It can keep you going, keeping you young at heart, which in turn can fuel the flame with your partner. Problem only arises when limits are crossed and self control is broken and that harmless casual flirting turns into something which can cause severe insecurity or hurt your partner or even the one you are micro cheating with.

So, the question is – how do you ensure that micro cheating does not harm your relationship and life at large? The best bet is to have an open discussion with your partner of what is ok and what is not. You could mutually set limits and boundaries which should make sure you don’t skid off! In the journey of life, the limits and boundaries may change as per the circumstances and situation so openly confronting and having healthy conversations about each others social and social media behavior off and on is a great idea too.