Someone giving you a hard time? Deal with it, like a boss!

It is rightly said that one can choose friends and colleagues for keeps in life but cannot choose family members. Family members are God gifted. It is also rightly said that blood is thicker than water which is why as a family, we tend to hold on to each other. In normal cases, a family is a support system that a human being has.

Dealing with difficult family members is one of the biggest challenges that one can face. But hey, challenges and changes are always nice and develop a person better than any formal education program can.

 It can get really frustrating and rack you off balance if a family member takes all the liberty to constantly criticize, advise when not ask for, assign random tasks and make you feel not good enough. Sometimes they may even take you for granted and not value your time and priorities as much as you need them to. Having such people in our close circuit make life seem like a task sometimes. When you are dealing with such members in your own family and cannot disown them because you feel responsible or duty bound, you tend to learn a lot more about life.

According to several research and findings, people dealing with difficult, narcissists or judgmental people are very prone to clinical depression. But those who learn ways to polish n grind through, end up shining- diamond bright!
As per the famous American author Terry Brooks, we are constantly being put to the test by trying circumstances and difficult people and problems not necessarily of our own making. Here is a list of the best ways in which you could handle difficult people and the difficult situations they bring a long as per advice from top psychologists in the world

1. Understanding the psychology – One thing that really helps is studying the psychology of the person who is constantly criticizing, always angry, judgmental and never satisfied no matter what you do for them. Once you start understanding of where the behavior comes from you will realize that the suffering is within themselves. Unpleasant history, certain conditions while growing up or simply a traumatic situation that they have faced in life can have them fill in negativity and lose faith. It is also quite possible that they are unhappy with the way life has shaped up all are in a difficult situation at present. For example, it is quite possible that someone taking care of a patient, facing financial problems or an illness himself can feel really frustrated. Sure enough, you might be bearing the brunt of this frustration. So, knowing that you are not the actual reason why the person is being tough to handle is always a good start in order to help yourself stay calm and unaffected. It is always good to remember that those who are focused only on their problems and not on solutions are the ones who turn negative and burn out eventually reaching a point where they cannot see anything but themselves and their issues in life. Expecting that they would be nice to you is the last thing you must do!

2. Elevate your positivity levels to be a bigger person – If you are facing a tough time in life yourself, it is very easy to feel anxious and get totally freaked out when things don’t go your way. If you have diagnosed that there are difficult people around you, then no matter what kind of a life situation you are in, showing them the positive side of the situation or of life at large always helps in changing negative behavioral patterns. To be able to do so you need to be an optimist yourself. Having some empathy towards understanding the psychology of the person also helps in being able to accept the person who may not make you feel good about things. When you are aware of one or many difficult people around you, taking a strong stand on your core belief system, reminding yourself of it time and again and staying intensely optimistic about being able to deal with any sort of negativity that is thrown on you always helps.

3. Self-help activities – Indulging in self-help activities is proved to be one of the most effective ways of staying unfazed about difficult people around us. Developing emotional quotient by following great men through their autobiographies, watching videos and blogs of various life coaches, taking of courses or by reading self-help books makes a tremendous impact on how you deal with people who don’t match your frequency in life. Self-help is the best help, indeed! Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, The Dalai Lama, Oprah awesome one strong you personally know, there are role models and inspiration of good behavior almost everywhere.

4. Control how YOU react – Difficult people are everywhere. Be it at home, workplace or social circuit, you will always come across someone or the other with an unbalanced emotional journey. Controlling how you react when criticized, judged, yelled or abused at is what defines you. Anger Management techniques taking a moment to analyze the person’s behavior and choose a calm and a positive reaction is in your hands. Not only will this make you the bigger person, but it will help you win the battle and have the opposite person self-introspect.

5. Maintain an amicable distance – It can be extremely difficult to constantly have someone barge into your territory emotionally, physically or financially. If it disturbs you or causes any sort of inconvenience, you could always choose to maintain an amicable distance. It is always a good idea to set boundaries and communicate clearly of the can and cannot. Setting a code of conduct in the relationship or having ground rules is a must if a person is being difficult and encroaching your space.

6. Independence – When surrounded by negative or difficult people, this is an absolute prerequisite. One has to be extremely independent emotionally to be able to do all that is needed in order to be able to successfully deal with difficult people and stay unaffected by whatever drama happens around. When we talk of Independence, it should be on all parameters, quite literally!

7. Take care of yourself – Exercising, meditation and yoga are always helpful in holistic healing and health. Not only it gives you the very precious alone time but it also helps in mood lifting and bringing in a feeling of general wellbeing.

8. Spread love and compassion – Understanding that a difficult person have a great deal of suffering hidden behind his or her behavior and then spreading love and compassion is a sure shot way to not only heal yourself but to cure them off the negativity. Ho’oponopono- a famous form of chanting stresses on the importance of sending love by repeatedly saying four important lines. I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you- focusing on the one you are trying to deal with, this chanting works wonders and is psychologically proven with lots of research work backed up on it.

Hope these tips and tricks back you up and help you deal with people of all kinds, from all walks of life, like a champ!