How will you distinguish between Love and Lust?

Falling for someone is such an amazing feeling when it happens. You totally immerse yourself in the moment without even thinking what exactly it is. No one wants to end up getting a different reality check than their expectations. E.g. you start liking someone hoping for a short-term fling or an affair, but one week later you find that you can’t even imagine life without that person, or vice-versa.

Thus, all your plans regarding your love life go kaput and you are left looking lovingly at that person. Now besides confirming your feelings, you also have to gauge the feelings of the other person. It is important to know because the earlier you are clear about the real feelings, the better it is for you, and to know how much effort and time to put in a relationship.

There is no grey area between love and lust, they are entirely different feelings. If you delve deeper into them, then love is a deep feeling of affection for that special person at the soul level; it is a long-lasting attraction that transcends beyond a lifetime.

Lust is almost opposite to love; it is a strong physical attraction started by the heightened activity of hormones and characterized by a persistent sexual desire. There are chances of lust developing later into love, and some people think of it as the first step of love, but that’s not the case.

How to know if its love?

• You meet each other’s family and friends.
• You want to know more about each other’s past, feelings, emotions, dreams, ambitions, etc.
• You spend more time with each other in other aspects of a relationship than sex.
• You care for the person and think about their betterment.

Detect the signs of lust:

• Almost every time you focus on their looks and body.
• You instantly feel like leaving after sex rather than waiting until breakfast.
• While having sex, you do small sex-related talk instead of other topics.
• Even at other times, you only have lustful conversations and plan for the next intimate encounter.

Love is not something that happens instantly, that thing is the domain of lust; love takes time and it develops gradually; it is firmly rooted in delayed gratification. If you think of Athletics, lust is a 100 m race while love is a marathon! Are you both running the same race? Check or else there will be a lot of emotional stress for you.

If you think from the moral point of view, lust is born out of ego whereas love is born out of compassion, an affinity for all. But still, lusting for someone is not a crime; it is a natural human feeling after all. You just have to ensure that both of you are on the same page about your association.

• Lust only scratches the surface of the relationship; to be precise, external appearance, and that is the first thing you see in a person, hence it is instant and sudden. It also wanes away as time passes. You, your wants and needs are the focus for you.

• Love goes deeper than the physical appearance, it happens between two souls, hence it is not instant but takes time, and with time it only increases. You are only concerned about them, not you.

The earlier you find out what it is, the better it is. Convey your feelings to them and know theirs too. If you still find things complicated, time itself will tell what exactly you felt about this person.