What did you learn from your last relationship?

We all have dramatic love stories, filled with many twists and full stops. It is rare to find a person involved in one romantic relationship throughout their lifetime. But are you considering yourself a failure in love if you often go through breakups?

You shouldn’t think that you’ve wasted your time and energy in a failed relationship because every relationship teaches you lessons in life that help make you a better person, a better soul. It could be related to love or any other aspect, but here’s what you got to learn from your previous relationships:

• Prioritize yourself: Did you make them your whole world? You shouldn’t have. How much ever your partner is caring and loving, you should give yourself the priority over anyone else. If you end up giving them more importance than yourself, and they turn out to be good at taking but not giving; in the end, you will be left with nothing.

• Misunderstandings do happen: Texts can be misread, you or they may say something in the heat of the moment, realize that before you make a mountain out of a molehill.

• Focusing on the present: We have control only on the present, nor on the past, neither on the future. But most of us tend to waste time thinking/planning about the future and forget to live in the current moment. Staying in the present would have allowed your relationship to grow naturally.

• You learn more about your life: Different people have different personalities, and hence, each of your past relationships brought out a new aspect of yours. A certain part of us is displayed only in the presence of a close person, so if you wouldn’t have dated this person, you would never have known that X factor about yourself!

• Discuss, don’t fight: Couples do fight in their relationship, and small ones keep the relationship healthy, but ensure that the fight doesn’t go big. Rather, have discussions, make your point and equally important is to listen to their point of view. Don’t always assert yourself and bully them, try to understand them too.

• Friends and Family matter too: In order to give more time to the partner, most people tend to go away from their family and friends, which is not good. Keep in regular touch with these important people in your life; this support system of yours will be there for you in times if breakup and other low moments.

• Compromises should be from both: A relationship in which only one person compromises for the happiness of the other never succeeds. In that case, it turns out to be a sacrifice. Ensure that your needs and comforts are considered too. A compromise is something in which both partners are satisfied.

• Don’t keep secrets: As much as you can, tell everything about yourself and your past to your partner. Remember, no one can change their past. If you lie about your past, then someone else who knows the truth may reveal it, or your partner may find it out themselves, either way, it will make your partner lose trust in you. Trust is of the utmost importance in any relationship.

• Boredom is dangerous: This is a major reason for breakups. Avoid slipping in some monotony, spice up your lives and the relationship with regular innovations. Whether it is the date, meeting, traveling, sex life, everything should be changed and experimented on with something new and thrilling.

• Give complete attention to them when they need it: We all go through low phases in life, whether it is in career, finances, family, or any other reason. At such times your partner may need you more than ever, so it will be fatal for the relationship if you ignore them.

• Take responsibility for your actions: Hold yourself accountable for everything you do. If you make a mistake, own up to it and ask for forgiveness. Pushing it on them and then blaming them will start ugly fights, bringing the relationship near to a breakup.

• Don’t control or change them: We all have an idea of a dream partner, and in the quest to realize that, we end up trying hard to change our partner accordingly. Avoid this, as no matter what you do, people don’t change and no one likes to be with the one who controls others.

Breakups really hurt a lot, you may spend time alone and cry, but the lesser you do it, the better it will be for you. Rather spend time in analyzing the reasons for the split, take in the positives, and move on with a smile, you will feel better.