A famous quote says familiarity breeds contempt. But when it comes to a marriage or a long-term relationship, if not contempt, familiarity can definitely breed a frustrating, crazy, confusing dry spell.
If you are with your partner for years together it is quite possible that you may not have had a good sex session at least for months together! Don’t worry, you are not the only one stuck in this spell. This is one of the major concerns which counselors have been dealing with in recent times. Sometimes, many couples complain about how they are still physically active, but the excitement and passion are completely lacking making it boring and mundane.
Recent studies suggest that a lack of physical intimacy or long dry spells affect women more than men. The side effects can include an increase in anxiety and stress, loss of emotional connection with your partner, weakened cardiovascular system, poorer metabolism and immune system, thinning of the vaginal walls which can cause pain and bleeding in the next session. In men, there are few studies which have also stated that there are higher chances of acquiring prostate cancer. Loss of libido is another concern. Regular sex can boost libido and relieve stress. If one has not had sex in a very long time, then is easy to lose interest in sex altogether.
There are various reasons why a couple would take a break in their physical relationship. This break can be planned or unplanned. The number one reason why a couple loses their physical intimacy is stress. Extreme stress at work or at the family front due to various pressures and expectations mentally, physically or financially can stress people out leading them to lose energy. This ultimately affects their sex life. The other reasons are emotional tension leading to a lack of physical attraction, sexual dysfunction, hormonal issues, health issues, disappointment and lack of excitement in the relationship overall.
Physical intimacy is a way of showing love and affection in depth. It can take a lot of commitment and some mindful efforts to rekindle your sex life. it is not as easy, but it is not impossible too. Working towards building a strong physical relationship can also indirectly help you deal with other issues to be fixed in the relationship with your partner. So, the end result is not only gaining back your sex life but also nurturing, redeveloping and strengthening the holistic health of your relationship.
Begin with solving your emotional issues- A closure to your pending issues is important if you want to start fresh. Take efforts to talk about things that you have not been able to forget and forgive. Getting onto the same page emotionally will definitely help in igniting the engine!
Put special efforts to ease the stress in each other’s lives– Dividing chores, finances or simply practicing stress-busting exercises and activities like yoga, meditation, and breathing techniques to get rid of stress are the key to getting your energy levels back to the track.
Create a light, fun and a happy environment at home – Very seldom can a normal couple have good sex in an environment of tension or frustration. Creating a light, fun and a happy environment at home by playing music, choosing to stay happy and cheerful, using dim lights and aromatherapy or simply having a fun play session with your loved one or pets can be a great stress buster and help create the pre-environment required.
Work on fixing your health issues- This is a no brainer. Taking care of your health issues by fixing your workout regime and eating clean makes a huge impact on your libido.
Work on your hygiene and grooming standards- As years pass and you get used to your partner’s body, it is easy to take your partner for granted. Not taking care of hygiene or grooming standards by not shaving regularly, ignoring body odor or not cleaning up before retiring for the day is a big no-no.
Put an effort to make your better half feel loved and wanted – Bring back all the little things that you did while you were dating years ago to make your loved one feel special and wanted. Writing letters, bringing flowers, cooking a favorite dinner- whatever it takes to make that special one feel on top of the world. Intimacy would begin here.
Bring out your naughty side- Playing an erotic movie with a romantic dinner, sexting, watching tutorials on certain sex toys and wearing kinky stuff to turn your partner on is a great idea to have some fun before the big thing!
It is never too late to reignite the fire and bring back the lost love and lust. Start now!